Illinois Estate Planning and Elder Law Blog
Last week, I shared ways that surprises in one’s will can cause stress and difficulty for family members after someone passes away. Here are a few more reasons it is best to be open with your loved ones about your estate plan.
The kids ‘don’t always get along’
In cases where inheritance is not divided equally or when someone is written out of a will entirely, things can get very messy. This is especially true if the decedent does not explain their reasoning for this decision.
“There have been a zillion times when people have told me, ‘No, all the kids get along. They all understand what I’ve done,’” says Shenkman. “And they may believe that because the kids appear to get along. But as soon as the parents are gone, those emotions come out of the closet like a torrent, and no, they don’t always get along.”
Shenkman advises attorneys to have open and honest talks with clients and to ask about their motivations during the process of writing their will.
“When I’ve seen parents or family members disinherit somebody, it’s really a kick in the gut in most cases,” he says.
Shenkman also encourages clients to have age appropriate talks with their kids which might not involve talking about dollar amounts. In doing this, parents can explain their decisions regarding how an inheritance is divided, and this can help prevent future feelings of betrayal after a parent passes away.
‘Don’t write a will from anger’
Any non-traditional family situation (including same-sex couples, gender transitions, assisted reproduction or surrogacies, etc.) can create ambiguity in how wills or trusts are interpreted and can potentially complicate the estate planning process.
Shenkman’s advice is to involve an objective third party (such as a trust protector or friend) in the estate planning process. When it is time to read the will, this third party can provide impartial perspectives.
People often avoid estate planning as a result of procrastination or superstition when it comes to death. It can be helpful to reframe the estate planning process as leaving a positive legacy instead of simply distributing assets after death.
“The first step to avoiding these kinds of hardships is do everything from a compassionate perspective, not from anger,” says Shenkman. “Don’t write a will from anger. Don’t write an estate plan from anger.”
For help with your estate plan, contact us at Wilson and Wilson Estate Planning and Elder Law, LLC at 708-482-7090.